Seeking Your Parenting Path: Using Queries to Find the Way

by Harriet Heath

This book is a guide for parents who want to nurture their children lovingly and thoughtfully by asking parents:

  • What is the situation about which you are concerned and/or in which you see opportunities for growth?
  • What are all the ways you and any interested others can think of as ways of dealing with the situation?

Parents then ask which of the ways that they have brainstormed are:

  • True to my Quaker faith and beliefs?
  • Opportunities for modeling and teaching the testimonies and values?
  • Considerate of the needs, feelings and individuality of each person involved? Possible given the circumstances in which I am parenting?
  • The ways thus selected make a plan.

Parents mindfully live their plan.

They review their experience and contemplate next steps.

The book is used during the workshop, Parenting Mindfully and Creatively discussion series.

Table of Contents


Table of Contents

Where are we going?

I. Maintaining a Close Relationship with Children
     Nurturing Relationships
      Breathing Exercise
     Tuning into Your Child Exercise

II. Planning
     1. What is the situation?
          Being Mindful in Retrospect Exercise
     2. What are your choices?      
          Brainstorming Exercise
     3. Guides for deciding which options to implement:
               What are your beliefs?
               Indentifying Beliefs Exercise
          What are your values?
               Identifying Values Exercise
          Analyzing a Value Exercise
               What are the needs of the people involved?
          Seven Basic Needs Chart
               What are their feelings?
          What are the individual characteristics of those involved?
               Developmental level
                    Development of Thinking Chart
                    Identifying Temperament Traits Exercise
               Learning style
                    Identifying Learning Styles Exercise
               Previous experiences
               Physical make-up
          What are the family characteristics?
               Family patterns
               Styles of communicating
          What are the conditions in which you are living?
               Parents’ energy
               Financial security
     4. Making a Plan
               Molly’s Plan to Guide Her Children
     5. Implementing Your Plan
               Molly’s Implementation of Her Plan
     6. Reflecting on Your Plan
               Molly’s Reflections