Not 30 minutes on the highway outside of Seattle, though, something put Ben, then a 6th-grader, over the edge. Loudly, from the backseat of the van came, I can’t spend a week in this car with just you! I miss my friends! I need to talk to them! I have a slow-motion memory of catching Buddy’s eye (he was remarkably focused on driving, I recall) as I turned around to look at Ben. He was genuinely distressed—bordering on panic. It was a real cry for help.
Miraculously, up from my Mumma-bear heart came words straight from Grace: “What do you miss talking about the most?” Without hesitation he answered music. My music. I said, “Well, I’m not your best friend Zack, but what if you give me a lesson for an hour every day this week? Pick a few bands. I’d love to learn. We can start now.” And in yet further evidence of Grace, he said “Okay.” I unclicked my seat belt, crawled to the back and began – with the help of a portable CD player – to learn pretty much everything I would ever know about Pink Floyd, Metallica, and Nine Inch Nails.
We did have a wonderful week, a transforming week, where we saw new wildflowers growing along the hillside of Mount St. Helen (20 years after the eruption), hiked the rain forest, and discovered Powell Books. Of course, there were lots of moments of bickering, but the powerful gifts of Ben being willing to share what was so personally meaningful, him being heard, and my being present to his deeply passionate interest are what have remained.