Howard Brinton concluded: ‘The most important consideration is not the right action in itself but a right inward state out of which right action will arise. Given the right inward state, right action is inevitable.’ That right action was to be seen by living the testimonies.
For the parent the question is how does that “right inward state” come into being? It was certainly not apparent in my two-year-old grandsons each firmly holding on to one of the ends of the toy dump truck and yellng through their tears, “Andy won’t share” or “Bobby won’t share.”
If Howard Brinton was right, moms would just have to wait. Evidently, all they needed to do was feed, clothe and love those little guys and that “right inward state” would appear. And yet elders at meeting wondered why the parents didn’t act when their children were running wildly around in the meeting room, sometimes even jumping on and over the benches.
Maybe that “right inward state” appeared when all the children were cousins being raised in Quaker homes with aunts and uncles and grandparents all of whom were living in the “right inward state” and children experienced it, which is the environment Howard Brinton grew up in.
That is not the world our children live in. For the mother caring for these two little boys that morning, the peace testimony was a goal for her parenting, not an immediate outcome. She wanted children who eventually could deal with conflict in ways other than fighting. She helped them by recognizing their needs for food and a break and giving them a way both could have a turn driving the truck, a solution they most likely could not figure out themselves being only two.
Have you considered using the testimonies as guides when making a decision about a parenting issue?